Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning
and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone
knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new
one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the
breeze with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills.
Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me
and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman, you don’t need him anymore!
You’re a United States Senator from New York running for President of the
United States. Act like one!
Dear Abby,
I was back from World War Two and was visiting my girlfriend at Smith College when I managed to get in her pants and lo and behold, she got pregnant and I did the right thing and married her. We went on to have three more boys: Marvin, Neil and Jeb . (Actually, there is some question about the milkman being Jeb’s biological father.) I was so busy in my business and political careers that I was’nt much of an involved father. Except for Jeb, none of the boys amounted to much. However the oldest had become very adept at screwing up things gracefully, always being forgiven and given another chance..
We sent him off to prep school at Phillips Academy in Andover, MA,. We bought him books but all he ever did was to eat the covers off the books. Since my father and I had both gone to Yale and had made something of ourselves, he was admitted based on his legacy. As an intellectually lazy but sociable guy he managed to fit in with his more intellectually inclined classmates as the “go to guy” when they had driven their intellectual neurons to the point of collapse and they needed to give them a rest by hanging out with our oldest son.
After he graduated from Yale, he became your basic drifter with a drinking problem until he was 40. After one publicly intoxicated incident we got Billy Graham to take him under his wing and the kid found Jesus and stopped drinking. By dint of my connections and his uncanney talent for failing with aplomb, he went through an unbroken series of business failures starting with Arbusto (which drilled so many dry oil wells that it was dubbed “Are Busted” in the trade).
To make a long story short, the Neoconservatives, whose political philosophy included the view that the world would be better off under American leadership needed an innocent-looking standard bearer. In order to impose that hegemony on the world we needed a massive military build-up, and aggressive foreign policy . What was called for was someone who could get elected but would allow the Neocon agenda to unfold. My kid had managed my successful 1988 Presidential campaign. He actually had a very good grasp of elective politics. The Neoconservatives got him elected to the largely ceremonial post of Texas Governor and then President of the USA. The rest is history.
Since 2001, I have winced at each of his blundering strokes as I have watched him lie us into a total fiasco in Iraq, run up the national debt, in part, by giving tax breaks that favorized the rich, replacing professionals at FEMA with political hacks, replacing responsible regulators with former lobbyists from the industry they are supposed to oversee…
Most of the world now looks unfavorably upon the USA for its policies since 2001. The country is bitterly divided. The GOP is still under the influence of the Neocons and cannot or will not admit that they have been responsible for allowing the Neocons to dictate their agenda.
Where have I gone wrong?
(Signed)
Devastated
Dear Devastated,
In the first place, why did you not use a condom? Coitus interuptus and oral sex would have been other alternatives. Abortion was illegal in those days but certainly you had the financial resources to have it done safely and quietly.
Why did you not spend more time with your son. Why did you not impart to him those qualities that made you such a successful businessman and public servant .
The one thing to console you is that your legacy as President will be judged as successful and it will look even better if it is compared to that of your neer-do-well offspring.
You were a good president but a lousy father.